This feeling is a familiar one. Haha i can still remember it all quite clearly, the bunch of us after sec4 who spent nearly everyday of that long post-Os break together.. huddling in castlegreen function room playing RISK on the last night before first-3-months started. And when it was all time to go home, i think we were all really sad, because it meant we were all going to different jcs and polys and because it meant those days of too much free time were about to end. And before we all slept that night there was this crazy round of smses where we all promised to stay close to each other and meet up often... more than 2 years on, i'm really glad that for most part they're still some of my closest friends, although we see each other maybe once in a couple of weeks - casuarina prata or tpy rojak and even though we're all far apart. And even though we're not always as whole a unit as we used to be then, it only just means that the strongest bonds still exist anyway, right? Hehe.

Ahhhhh and its exactly the same with the a13 girls now! We visited the KR girls in hall last thursday and got to celebrate mouse's birthday too.. is it like our last whole group meeting before everything starts. I think them moving all the way west has kinda shaken the dynamics of this group - hahaha OK i don't mean to be too dramatic about it, and of course i don't wanna ever think that we will ever drift apart, but i guess it sorta symbolises that uni life is right about to begin for all of us.. all of us going in our own directions, no more 8 girls together in the canteen/classroom/assembly row/out together doing random things. Yeah it can't always be the way it has been for the past two years, but i'll definitely miss just having the girls around all the time and while a part of me is really excited about this new beginning, i guess i'm quite scared without you girls right by me.

But time to grow up! Accept that change is the only thing constant. Don't wanna keep thinking negative thoughts either. I'll hoot those who won't make time haha. And as i keep posting on fb hahaha as cheesy as it sounds, i know our friendship's a ship that can't sink. We may not be able to be as updated on each other's lives as we are now, and maybe we won't be able to meet often, but come on - optimistic ants here says technology ftw!! There's skype. And fb, and our phones, and msn. And there's vivo, right smack in the middle of us city girls and you 4 west-siders. More importantly we have all our memories to keep us close in our hearts and mind. I really love you girls! You guys were there through it all.. and even though in our huge group its hard to share problems and what not especially in between all our rubbish conversations, each of you individually really mean a lot to me.

Deep deep breath! We can all do this. Bound together by hwee's corny friendship bracelt <3 <3 <3 Our longest ever break from school is finally coming to an end, also an end to our wednesdays together and random dinner and shopping and movie outings.. and car rides. Time to feel useful again, and stress out over school work and get reaallllyy busy. I know we'll survive through this :)

Sunny afternoons

Esther got back from switzerland and she's taking a gap year here (whoopee) before she jets off to canada... but in the meantime, after re-scheduling at least a million times we managed to squeeze in some time hehe - to do stuff like eat, visit peirce, eat, take pictures, eat more, feel silly, drink paopaochar yum. Je'taime esther moochie!

Good shoes to take me to good places

Hopefully!

Am very blessed. I have my family, i have my friends.. and now i can drive!! Hehe :D Count my blessings, but i'm also counting the days. I'm losing track of my everydays because there's just so much going on. And it seems like everything i look forward to or count down to is over so quickly i feel almost as if i've been cheated of all the effort of worrying or expecting it. I drew this big question mark on my organiser for next week because i really don't know what to expect.. camps to come, i'm not as excited as i know i should be.. or maybe i'm not really trying yet. But i guess it'll all be over before i know it. Gotta psych myself up. Here goes! Must.keep.an.open.mind.

Car-crash of a heart

Maybe by monday, i'll be able to successfully maneuver the car the s course, the crank course, vertical and parallel park without a glitch, navigate through ubi's crazy roads calmly. The clutch will be my bestfriend, and every gear change will feel like adrenaline coursing through my veins. Oh! I will also not accumulate more than 20 points, and i will not forget any one of the one million things which constitutes immediate failure. Take a look at the assessment checklist if you don't know what i mean. Its a freaking minefield, designed to shatter the already fragile form of confidence we sad learner drivers possess.

Who am i kidding? I need a miracle to happen. Haha. Sob.

Stranger to this feeling

Does anyone feel like their world is shifting? Somehow i feel like everything's gone kind of topsy-turvy, there are so many changes taking place so suddenly i feel all wobbly. We're in the middle of the year, and i know i've complained how this year has been all about waiting (& waiting & waiting), but now everything's flooding in and i feel like i'm caught in a whirlpool of confusion and excitement. Or whatever. Hahaha how should i put it? It isn't a bad thing, it feels a little like starting the engine of a stalled car. I'm just reluctant and maybe just lazy to have to adjust.. new school, new way of travelling to school, new computer.. new groups of people. Once it all starts changing i may be so caught up in it i won't actually realise it. But thats the saddest thing! I don't wanna ever forget. I don't want any goodbye to ever really be a goodbye. And i hope that when things are different, i'd still be able to have deedays, hear funk soul brother as fengshui brother haha.. take mop-like pictures with the girlies, morning phone calls with ly, have time for prata with the peirce gang, and visit pris su wherever she decides to fly. Squabble with jon, with dom. Be with my family. Crave tao-huay, fly kites, stay happy. I hope i won't have to compromise anything i love or anything i believe in.

Its a dog-eat-dog world! Haha life is tough. Suck it up!!!!!!

Igor takes flight

But what goes up must come down!


'And when they say i'm just a terrible kite
You'll tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight'

..

BALI!

Don't know what i was expecting, but i think i expected things to be as clear as bali's cloudless blue skies (on most days anyway) when i got back! 5 days of sunshine, gorgeous sunsets, endless beaches, yummy indo food and sometimes agonising but nonetheless great family time; things are still as murky as the sea water is here. Haha. I am.. still both nervous and excited for uni, i am also still very sad over the thought of everyone going on their own separate ways, i am even more dreading jon enlisting and my PT date, and most of all, i am absolutely not any closer to banishing any negative thoughts! :(





Oh but i miss bali already.

Work!

I extended my contract at work. I mulled over it for the longest time, weighing the pros and cons and wondering what's the best thing to do.. a horror process for an indecisive person like me. Hahaha and even now i'm still not sure if signing my name on the dotted line (effectively keeping me as an employee until december). How in the world am i gonna be able to juggle the on set of uni life plus cca plus the heavy school workload plus work!? Ok typing it down here makes me wanna run back to human resources and beg them to let me take the contract back. Haha. Or not. I guess i made the decision to stay 90% for sentimental reasons - which isn't the smartest thing to do, but when have i ever been practical anyway? Sitting here in my cubicle, in front of this screen, simultaneously eating my melting mcflurry and waiting for the pages to come through and also lj-ing.. and having just come back from a semi fun dinner with yuling, melvyck and ian; its all starting to feel kinda familiar. I just can't let it all go so easily. Sure i still screw up nearly everyday, and i am still a noob at all this meticulous pagination stuff, but hey! When i'm dying from school and ready to kill myself for not ending the contract earlier, at least then i know its time to give this gig up. Heh. Whew. So my choice is to have no choice. Haha. Lets see how this turns out :S

Happily clock-watching

What's worse than being indecisive is being impatient, because the combination of both traits usually leads to doing things impulsively, which almost always leads to making wrong choices. Maybe thats why i'm probably more likely to just let things fall into place by themselves, drift drift drift and somehow or another find my way into everything... rather than confidently stepping in one direction when i come to a cross road and asserting myself in every decision. I'm always afraid of lousy consequences. I guess i sub-consciously make up my mind, in the end i kinda discover that i'm happy anyway. And because of all that i tend to become sort of detached, happier to let things flow.. but sometimes its really tiring just waiting, especially when what you're waiting for is never clearly defined. Sheesh! :( :)

Journey to the west

On wednesday, the east-side and semi east-side girls all headed to jurong for a little exploring since it is far away from where we always go. After our super salty ramen lunch, we h1 three got to sit on the most humungous arm chair ever hehe and went mad being trigger-happy while meiyi jac and hwee got their nails done. Walked around jurong point and got kinda lost, and after bubble tea we all squeezed into hwee's cute car and made our way back to the east, conquering nearly all the highways in the process hahaha :) the four of us kiddies squashed at the back for an hour, while in front jac worked the gps while hwee drove. I am convinced that jac can win amazing race on her own! And i'm looking forward to more wednesdays together! Pictures from meiyi vera and hwee.

On low low days, the one person you need is the one that knows how to fill empty but not awkward silences with Queet Queet. But today.. the people i always thought i'd count on to save the day are somehow even more conspicuously absent :(

Lucky stars!

So blessed so blessed so blessed!!! And i can't believe this is happening to me. Gosh haha.. but i'm also very very scared. Nevermind, one step at a time.. here i go hehe :)