What happens when you're at the crossroads and then you choose one path and its a path of no return? When you've already given up so many things to stay on this path, to keep going at it, as much as you feel like the further you venture, the woods only get thicker? What happens when every day you feel like giving up even more, when the efforts don't pay off, when people think they understand but really don't, when its all eating you up inside and you hate it so bad and you feel like a loser but there's really nothing you can do about it?

This sem my life is being distilled and sometimes i feel a little sad the way i've been weaned off certain things i used to consider really important.. but for most part, i guess its all part of growing up - we meet and interact with so many new people and make all sorts of new friends - but at the end of the day, sometimes it feels like the only person you can count on is yourself. Sorta. I'm really really blessed i have sh, because he lights up my day. Everyday. Just by being there. I can't really describe it, but he really gets me through my everydays. And jac too, because she's just a wonderful friend in so many ways :)

What could have been

There are some things i'll always remember, some things i still hold dear to me, memories that i'll forever cherish. Hehe. I don't even know if you know, or if you knew, but it was pretty special to me for a really really long time. I think up till today, a part of me sometimes still kinda sorta wanted to know. But after today, its nice that some things that are perhaps best left unsaid - what could have been would never be. In that way its like hitting "pause" at the good parts, freezing in time before things go awry...

A year on, its really just wonderful there are only good memories to hold onto :)