LOUSY

'Horrible', 'meiyouyong', 'waste of talent', 'you are your worst enemy'.. and on and on he goes, shaking his head and tsking! I tell you, HE is my worst enemy. I don't think i've ever been in such close proximity to a person and stopping myself from reaching over to throttle him. My driving instructor! He makes me want to huff and puff and die already. As if i can help being kanchiong.. this is only my seventh lesson! What does he expect me to do, weave in and out of tiny squashed lanes seamlessly like an expert? Isn't it normal to garbla sometimes, especially when the situations can be so unexpected and nerve-racking.

Sigh so much for driving lessons! And for travelling all the way to tampines every week. Like today. In the heat. In a cab! Because the bus took forever to come and i didn't want to miss a minute with him - and then when i'm with him i feel like scum. And he managed to end the lesson with 'i have high hopes in you' haha while i felt like a sad sponge. I'm a terrible case of nerves.. and i really wish he'd help me out by not making me feel worse and instead maybe we can cultivate a better instructor-learner relationship :@ :@ :@

Haha on a lighter note, congrats hwee on passing!! I'm so happy for you and i wish i could be in your position right now and here's to conquering evil mean drivers on the road and evil instructors too hahaha.

Today we celebrated lois's birthday! And we wore barney party hats and stuck the fiesta cheese cake with 19 candles and got her daisies too :D and over sushi, while reminiscing about peirce for the 1000th time, lois reminded us how in sec 1 mr j would shout 'on your feet....up!' and then we had to bounce up from the hard parade square cement floor, punch the air and roar in unison 'PEIRCE!'

Hahaha... that was all just so lame. I remember feeling so stupid every time we were forced to repeat it until we got it right. Funnily enough, sometimes i just kind of wish i could get the chance to be transported right back to those early mornings again and do it all just once more. Sigh. Even with pay and all the good job perks work can't be compared to school at all haha.

Alaska bomb!

Daddy's birthday dinner earlier this april, and my brother's girlfriend serene came too! My dad doesn't care much for birthdays, so we forced this on him... and we all caught shinjuku incident in the cinemas afterwards - our first trip to the cinema together in the longest time. I spent nearly the whole show with my hands over my eyes and feeling a little lightbulbish in between my parents and jon and serene. But it was fun. Heh. I love my family especially on days like these when we are all not irritable :D

Better days

I feel like a mess of squiggly doodles these days, colourful but kinda confused and random. Lately its been pretty great, more ups than downs... at moments time just seems to be crawling by, i'm fitting in so much into each day by the weekend i always find myself surprised that its only been one week in between. But its been so much fun. Still sometimes i feel like i'm wilting away, as if i'm waiting for something big to come along and sweep me up so i'll get caught up in the excitement of it all and feel all :D :D :D

And do 'just because's really exist? I wish i knew!

No more menmenbules

I wonder why is it that when something great is going on for me, i don't realise it immediately and when i do, i kinda constantly worry that it is only temporary. And i'll be afraid that it might go away. But when something sad happens, it always hits me right away and hits me hard. Then the best sort of therapy for me is to go on some long bus ride haha and listen to ipod.

But its always best to bury the hatchet, not mope over it and try to feel happy. Even when there's a reason to be unhappy, now my mantra/motto/whatever appropriate word (haha abc!) is to block out whatever lousy thoughts and haha go to my happy place - i.e for now azabu sabo strawberry icecream! I am the anti-emo.

Methinks

Five things on my mind right now:

1) Strawberry! Strawberry ice cream, strawberry chocolate, strawberry milk, strawberry yoghurt drink, strawberry anything! :D

2) That... if i really really want something, do i have to fight for it? But if its meant to be, it will happen anyway, right? Mind-boggling!

3) Goong. When i'm watching it its like i'm transported into this happy place... sheesh i love happy endings i really do.

4) Humming 'bleeding love' hahaha

5) Abc, hwee and my super april fool's prank muahahaha it was so funny even though i sort of ruined it by laughing so hard. But number one! Really! Yay us! And yay for successful taiwan planning... i'm thinking of what to pack already!

Ok gotta go. The next couple of weeks are going to be quite packed... haha i'll be working more which i'm actually looking forward to. And i hope ucas and nus get back to me. I hate being suspended in this state of limbo. But at least the applications are finally all done haha no more uneasy weight on my shoulders anymore.

I just hope i'm knocking on the right doors!

Who needs shelter from the sun?

Standing in the grass at 12 am playing ball, going to bishan park to fly a kite at 9pm, late-night casuarina prata and chomp chomp fixes.. peirce people numero uno! :)

I really, really do.

1 thing 2 say 3 words 4 you - i miss you.

Smile you're on my lousy camera! :D

Okay here are some pictures i took with my phone camera which i finally uploaded.. not the best quality but they pretty much capture some quite spontaneous funny moments and some cherished ones as well heh.

In our usual spot in the canteen, eating our usual fare - malay food/noodles, we or hwee actually found a "laptop"! Hahahaha i will never forget this day.

Classic concourse moment. Two rattling tables pulled together, check! Ipods, check! For the happy 3 h1-ers we did a lot here, and nothing to do with studying too. P&J muahaha!

During one of our after school studying sessions, we had such a good laugh drawing a portrait of hwee for her birthday present and having the hardest time with the nose... and here's leow the artist at work.

And one for every mr phua session we had. This is abc caught in action, trying to snap a picture of mr phua who was quite oblivious during tuition. Sometimes we wanted to kill him, other times we were really amused by him, but in all i think we liked him. We did, right? At least i did hehe.

For my favourite swim pair. This is typical xiangli hahaha seducing abc. Cracks me up every time!

Swim meet 2008! I was so happy because i hit my pb haha and also because swim was so much fun especially during competitions. We were singing and taking photos and acting all unprofessional which is what we were hahaha. Gosh.

Here's dee and the turtle solomon (we named him!) which we found while rollerblading lying in the middle of the cycling path 100m away from the pond looking really squashed! :( But we brought him back to the pond. After we released him, i'm sure he poked his head out of the water to say goodbye.. hahaha and i'm not kidding.

I think this was forever ago, even before.. just before everything which has happened happened! Ly you know what i mean. At united sq starbucks, i remember trying and failing to study for chinese a levels. Kinda really miss these times a lot.

This was during the best of igor days. Roach haunt which happened afterwards was quite unforgettable ;)

Because we had a real rainbow connection!

Thats it. Now my phone is practically obsolete but yay for the wonders of technology haha.. these are some pictures i'll never delete! I'm feeling quite cheered today, i hope this gloomy cloud above my head is finally dissipating. Here goes. Here's to great april, and here's to may coming quickly. I can't wait already. I need the pre-travel bug to hit me!

Its a sinking feeling that doesn't hit me right away but after i get a seat on the bus and pull my knees up against the seat in front of me and my head resting on the handle bar behind and the cold air con wind gushing down then suddenly i just want to go back to that lost moment before or maybe just shrink away from everything so i can curl up under covers and perhaps hibernate and wish every sad emoticon away.

Goodbye earth, hello moon

Aren't we in a pickle now

Everything just feels so overwhelming. Like everything coming at me at once, in torrents, in a flood, in a huge wave of decisions to make.. Its all drowning me, i feel engulfed in this pressure to get it right. I can't be any happier or feel more blessed with what i received, but past the initial euphoria and first thrills of utter surprise and gratitude, its getting exhausting explaining i really did not expect it and of course of what to expect now. I didn't think i'd feel this way! Its crazy huh, i never felt more detached, never felt more of a need to escape - and all this when i'm in the midst of what i really consider 'never even in my wildest hopes'... standing here at this crossroads i'd really just rather sink into the ground and not have to make up my mind now!