Better days

I feel like a mess of squiggly doodles these days, colourful but kinda confused and random. Lately its been pretty great, more ups than downs... at moments time just seems to be crawling by, i'm fitting in so much into each day by the weekend i always find myself surprised that its only been one week in between. But its been so much fun. Still sometimes i feel like i'm wilting away, as if i'm waiting for something big to come along and sweep me up so i'll get caught up in the excitement of it all and feel all :D :D :D

And do 'just because's really exist? I wish i knew!

No more menmenbules

I wonder why is it that when something great is going on for me, i don't realise it immediately and when i do, i kinda constantly worry that it is only temporary. And i'll be afraid that it might go away. But when something sad happens, it always hits me right away and hits me hard. Then the best sort of therapy for me is to go on some long bus ride haha and listen to ipod.

But its always best to bury the hatchet, not mope over it and try to feel happy. Even when there's a reason to be unhappy, now my mantra/motto/whatever appropriate word (haha abc!) is to block out whatever lousy thoughts and haha go to my happy place - i.e for now azabu sabo strawberry icecream! I am the anti-emo.

Methinks

Five things on my mind right now:

1) Strawberry! Strawberry ice cream, strawberry chocolate, strawberry milk, strawberry yoghurt drink, strawberry anything! :D

2) That... if i really really want something, do i have to fight for it? But if its meant to be, it will happen anyway, right? Mind-boggling!

3) Goong. When i'm watching it its like i'm transported into this happy place... sheesh i love happy endings i really do.

4) Humming 'bleeding love' hahaha

5) Abc, hwee and my super april fool's prank muahahaha it was so funny even though i sort of ruined it by laughing so hard. But number one! Really! Yay us! And yay for successful taiwan planning... i'm thinking of what to pack already!

Ok gotta go. The next couple of weeks are going to be quite packed... haha i'll be working more which i'm actually looking forward to. And i hope ucas and nus get back to me. I hate being suspended in this state of limbo. But at least the applications are finally all done haha no more uneasy weight on my shoulders anymore.

I just hope i'm knocking on the right doors!

Who needs shelter from the sun?

Standing in the grass at 12 am playing ball, going to bishan park to fly a kite at 9pm, late-night casuarina prata and chomp chomp fixes.. peirce people numero uno! :)

I really, really do.

1 thing 2 say 3 words 4 you - i miss you.

Smile you're on my lousy camera! :D

Okay here are some pictures i took with my phone camera which i finally uploaded.. not the best quality but they pretty much capture some quite spontaneous funny moments and some cherished ones as well heh.

In our usual spot in the canteen, eating our usual fare - malay food/noodles, we or hwee actually found a "laptop"! Hahahaha i will never forget this day.

Classic concourse moment. Two rattling tables pulled together, check! Ipods, check! For the happy 3 h1-ers we did a lot here, and nothing to do with studying too. P&J muahaha!

During one of our after school studying sessions, we had such a good laugh drawing a portrait of hwee for her birthday present and having the hardest time with the nose... and here's leow the artist at work.

And one for every mr phua session we had. This is abc caught in action, trying to snap a picture of mr phua who was quite oblivious during tuition. Sometimes we wanted to kill him, other times we were really amused by him, but in all i think we liked him. We did, right? At least i did hehe.

For my favourite swim pair. This is typical xiangli hahaha seducing abc. Cracks me up every time!

Swim meet 2008! I was so happy because i hit my pb haha and also because swim was so much fun especially during competitions. We were singing and taking photos and acting all unprofessional which is what we were hahaha. Gosh.

Here's dee and the turtle solomon (we named him!) which we found while rollerblading lying in the middle of the cycling path 100m away from the pond looking really squashed! :( But we brought him back to the pond. After we released him, i'm sure he poked his head out of the water to say goodbye.. hahaha and i'm not kidding.

I think this was forever ago, even before.. just before everything which has happened happened! Ly you know what i mean. At united sq starbucks, i remember trying and failing to study for chinese a levels. Kinda really miss these times a lot.

This was during the best of igor days. Roach haunt which happened afterwards was quite unforgettable ;)

Because we had a real rainbow connection!

Thats it. Now my phone is practically obsolete but yay for the wonders of technology haha.. these are some pictures i'll never delete! I'm feeling quite cheered today, i hope this gloomy cloud above my head is finally dissipating. Here goes. Here's to great april, and here's to may coming quickly. I can't wait already. I need the pre-travel bug to hit me!

Its a sinking feeling that doesn't hit me right away but after i get a seat on the bus and pull my knees up against the seat in front of me and my head resting on the handle bar behind and the cold air con wind gushing down then suddenly i just want to go back to that lost moment before or maybe just shrink away from everything so i can curl up under covers and perhaps hibernate and wish every sad emoticon away.

Goodbye earth, hello moon

Aren't we in a pickle now

Everything just feels so overwhelming. Like everything coming at me at once, in torrents, in a flood, in a huge wave of decisions to make.. Its all drowning me, i feel engulfed in this pressure to get it right. I can't be any happier or feel more blessed with what i received, but past the initial euphoria and first thrills of utter surprise and gratitude, its getting exhausting explaining i really did not expect it and of course of what to expect now. I didn't think i'd feel this way! Its crazy huh, i never felt more detached, never felt more of a need to escape - and all this when i'm in the midst of what i really consider 'never even in my wildest hopes'... standing here at this crossroads i'd really just rather sink into the ground and not have to make up my mind now!

Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing is gonna be all right!"

Jason Mraz and almost every bit of my yesterday was quite awesome :D

Blame it on the weatherman!

My colourful umbrella has been a real faithful companion and a nice splash of colour in this dreary weather but even then, on sunday when it was raining so heavily i was drenched just walking home from my bus stop and feeling like lightning was about to strike me left right centre haha. Thankfully the grey skies don't reflect my mood lately. Heh its been an awesome february, in a way i just can't really seem to find the right words to sum it all up.

But anyway, something worthy to post about! Taiwan! After dragging myself out of bed saturday morning and making my way down to park mall dome - though not without the conspicuous laptop bag haha. And nearly 4 hours of website hopping and brain storming (what a headache being tech idiots haha) we finally got all the bookings done. So yay to our efficiency heh and now there's really something to look forward to in may! Can't wait to travel with the korea gang again, minus the guys but hey, we always have a great time together! And girls, if we made a checklist for everything we planned to do after the A's last year, i think we're able to tick it all off. We've did so much in just jan and feb this 2009 i wonder if we'll ever run out of things to do?

And last weekend jon and i went for a childhood friend's birthday party, which actually turned out real fun for me anyway haha despite everyone else there being complete strangers. So i ate with jon, talked to jon, and ended up playing wii with jon which was kinda lame, being at a party and interacting mostly only with my older brother haha! But he's also my best friend, and there's really no one i trust more in the world i think. And thats perhaps why i'm so bummed out he has a submission on friday and he can't pick me up from school :( its such a huge thing to me i'm terrified and he can't be there! Sob!

Jac please be there to runaway with me! Haha abandoned by our siblings, i'm glad i have you my 43/76 go home buddy i will really need you!

Worry worry worry!

I had my first driving lesson the other day. Sitting behind the wheel and taking the driver's seat was extremely intimidating haha. Just the idea of having to handle all the gear stuff and clutch stepping, at the same time looking our for cars in the rear/side view mirrors, not to mention blind spots, ways to turn, where to look, stop line, no stop line, traffic lights, accelerate, break.. bleahh its hell for a non-multitasker like me. Haha. So actually I was surprised that it didn't go too bad. No stalling, just me being a little panicky. And my instructor with his bushy moustache and gruff voice (albeit quite a jolly ah-peh!) haha said i did fine for most part, except that i have a habit of rushing. Or i'm guessing he means to bite off more than what i can chew.

Anyway. After the lesson i started thinking that maybe once the results come out, it's kinda like being in the driver's seat. Without an instructor. Taking the wheel for once and having to decide everything with hardly any allowance for making mistakes. Its really quite frightening, seems like uni choice is gonna be one of the hardest things i'm ever going to make up my mind about. I don't want to regret anything.. so what to pursue? Where to go? What to do? Like driving, its just to much to do at once. Yikes its something i definitely don't want to rush into, i wanna make sure i'm able to navigate everything well and at the right speed.. and hopefully instinctively.

:o This is just one of those things that runs through my head every night! Its just best these days to be so tired that once i hit the bed i'll fall asleep and not go crazy telling myself to stop worrying. Which is what i'm really really good at doing!