Smile you're on my lousy camera! :D

Okay here are some pictures i took with my phone camera which i finally uploaded.. not the best quality but they pretty much capture some quite spontaneous funny moments and some cherished ones as well heh.

In our usual spot in the canteen, eating our usual fare - malay food/noodles, we or hwee actually found a "laptop"! Hahahaha i will never forget this day.

Classic concourse moment. Two rattling tables pulled together, check! Ipods, check! For the happy 3 h1-ers we did a lot here, and nothing to do with studying too. P&J muahaha!

During one of our after school studying sessions, we had such a good laugh drawing a portrait of hwee for her birthday present and having the hardest time with the nose... and here's leow the artist at work.

And one for every mr phua session we had. This is abc caught in action, trying to snap a picture of mr phua who was quite oblivious during tuition. Sometimes we wanted to kill him, other times we were really amused by him, but in all i think we liked him. We did, right? At least i did hehe.

For my favourite swim pair. This is typical xiangli hahaha seducing abc. Cracks me up every time!

Swim meet 2008! I was so happy because i hit my pb haha and also because swim was so much fun especially during competitions. We were singing and taking photos and acting all unprofessional which is what we were hahaha. Gosh.

Here's dee and the turtle solomon (we named him!) which we found while rollerblading lying in the middle of the cycling path 100m away from the pond looking really squashed! :( But we brought him back to the pond. After we released him, i'm sure he poked his head out of the water to say goodbye.. hahaha and i'm not kidding.

I think this was forever ago, even before.. just before everything which has happened happened! Ly you know what i mean. At united sq starbucks, i remember trying and failing to study for chinese a levels. Kinda really miss these times a lot.

This was during the best of igor days. Roach haunt which happened afterwards was quite unforgettable ;)

Because we had a real rainbow connection!

Thats it. Now my phone is practically obsolete but yay for the wonders of technology haha.. these are some pictures i'll never delete! I'm feeling quite cheered today, i hope this gloomy cloud above my head is finally dissipating. Here goes. Here's to great april, and here's to may coming quickly. I can't wait already. I need the pre-travel bug to hit me!

Its a sinking feeling that doesn't hit me right away but after i get a seat on the bus and pull my knees up against the seat in front of me and my head resting on the handle bar behind and the cold air con wind gushing down then suddenly i just want to go back to that lost moment before or maybe just shrink away from everything so i can curl up under covers and perhaps hibernate and wish every sad emoticon away.

Goodbye earth, hello moon

Aren't we in a pickle now

Everything just feels so overwhelming. Like everything coming at me at once, in torrents, in a flood, in a huge wave of decisions to make.. Its all drowning me, i feel engulfed in this pressure to get it right. I can't be any happier or feel more blessed with what i received, but past the initial euphoria and first thrills of utter surprise and gratitude, its getting exhausting explaining i really did not expect it and of course of what to expect now. I didn't think i'd feel this way! Its crazy huh, i never felt more detached, never felt more of a need to escape - and all this when i'm in the midst of what i really consider 'never even in my wildest hopes'... standing here at this crossroads i'd really just rather sink into the ground and not have to make up my mind now!

Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing is gonna be all right!"

Jason Mraz and almost every bit of my yesterday was quite awesome :D

Blame it on the weatherman!

My colourful umbrella has been a real faithful companion and a nice splash of colour in this dreary weather but even then, on sunday when it was raining so heavily i was drenched just walking home from my bus stop and feeling like lightning was about to strike me left right centre haha. Thankfully the grey skies don't reflect my mood lately. Heh its been an awesome february, in a way i just can't really seem to find the right words to sum it all up.

But anyway, something worthy to post about! Taiwan! After dragging myself out of bed saturday morning and making my way down to park mall dome - though not without the conspicuous laptop bag haha. And nearly 4 hours of website hopping and brain storming (what a headache being tech idiots haha) we finally got all the bookings done. So yay to our efficiency heh and now there's really something to look forward to in may! Can't wait to travel with the korea gang again, minus the guys but hey, we always have a great time together! And girls, if we made a checklist for everything we planned to do after the A's last year, i think we're able to tick it all off. We've did so much in just jan and feb this 2009 i wonder if we'll ever run out of things to do?

And last weekend jon and i went for a childhood friend's birthday party, which actually turned out real fun for me anyway haha despite everyone else there being complete strangers. So i ate with jon, talked to jon, and ended up playing wii with jon which was kinda lame, being at a party and interacting mostly only with my older brother haha! But he's also my best friend, and there's really no one i trust more in the world i think. And thats perhaps why i'm so bummed out he has a submission on friday and he can't pick me up from school :( its such a huge thing to me i'm terrified and he can't be there! Sob!

Jac please be there to runaway with me! Haha abandoned by our siblings, i'm glad i have you my 43/76 go home buddy i will really need you!

Worry worry worry!

I had my first driving lesson the other day. Sitting behind the wheel and taking the driver's seat was extremely intimidating haha. Just the idea of having to handle all the gear stuff and clutch stepping, at the same time looking our for cars in the rear/side view mirrors, not to mention blind spots, ways to turn, where to look, stop line, no stop line, traffic lights, accelerate, break.. bleahh its hell for a non-multitasker like me. Haha. So actually I was surprised that it didn't go too bad. No stalling, just me being a little panicky. And my instructor with his bushy moustache and gruff voice (albeit quite a jolly ah-peh!) haha said i did fine for most part, except that i have a habit of rushing. Or i'm guessing he means to bite off more than what i can chew.

Anyway. After the lesson i started thinking that maybe once the results come out, it's kinda like being in the driver's seat. Without an instructor. Taking the wheel for once and having to decide everything with hardly any allowance for making mistakes. Its really quite frightening, seems like uni choice is gonna be one of the hardest things i'm ever going to make up my mind about. I don't want to regret anything.. so what to pursue? Where to go? What to do? Like driving, its just to much to do at once. Yikes its something i definitely don't want to rush into, i wanna make sure i'm able to navigate everything well and at the right speed.. and hopefully instinctively.

:o This is just one of those things that runs through my head every night! Its just best these days to be so tired that once i hit the bed i'll fall asleep and not go crazy telling myself to stop worrying. Which is what i'm really really good at doing!

Locker 50 love is here to stay!

When i went back to vj the other day, i peeked into our locker 50 just to see if they really cleared out the stacks of notes we left behind, the sweets that were starting to melt and the little bits and pieces of paper and even coins.. And they did! It was all gone, from our 45678 lock to the ants that i spotted crawling into the mess that we procrastinated cleaning up. Everything disappeared, the locker looking sadly empty.. everything except for our blue post-it we stuck on the locker celebrating vday last year "Happy valentine's day! Spread the locker 50 love :)" in abc's narrow cute handwriting as opposed to my fat flat one. Somehow even after valentine's, we didn't throw it away and instead pasted it on the inside.. and there it remained! Until maybe even now, if the next tenants haven't thrown it away yet. See abc haha we managed to leave a legacy!!

Wear your heart on your sleeve.. or not

One minute i'm sure i'm certain, i'm floating on cloud 9, i'm over the moon, i'm ready as can be. And then its the next minute, and i'm confused again. Hanging by a moment, by a thread, teetering on the edge, trying to figure out the ambiguity of it all. What is it about feelings? They seem to tend to only mix things up... things that are really simple are somehow transformed into a web of questions with answers i refuse to accept. People say "follow your heart", but i think the heart is too often fooled by the slightest of emotions... always too positive, always too vulnerable, always hoping for the impossible. If only i had some kind of clairvoyant ability to tell the future or what girls are supposed to possess - intuition which is supposedly able to tell us what feels right or wrong.. Haha pris su always believed in it! But now it seems to me as if my intuition is hopelessly unable to detect things accurately - or maybe i am just having problems trying to trust it. I can't figure it out either!

Somehow i can't believe its february already, 2009 has begun in such a flurry of things i feel like i'm being caught in this current and sort of just drifting along. Like my much anticipated trip with dee to see pris su has come and gone, and so has chinese new year, and in between all the things that everyone has been getting down to doing too. Driving (yay i passed btt heh and my driving lessons + ftt soon!), working, trying to live each off day to the fullest.. the works heh.

So february february is off to a great start so far.. this week is packed with stuff i'm looking forward to so very much :) Still on the wait here. What is it that i'm waiting for really? Honestly i don't know but along the way i shall. Everything builds up to something doesn't it? It just has to, i hope it does! Everything in its time, right? I really hope it all just falls into place.

Happy tuesday. Happy february!!

Don't wanna mess up mess up!

If there's just one more person who asks me when are a level results coming out and what i'm gonna do after that (i have no idea yikes!!!!!) this CNY, i might just flip out and die from a panic attack already! Ok it isn't really all that bad, but its something pressing upon my shoulders which i can't seem to shrug off. I suppose the reason why i don't really want to let myself be far sighted on this is because i just don't dare to.. what if i end up feeling too disappointed? Or what if i let anyone down? Does anyone know what i mean? I've never been someone who likes things to be definite, ok - fickle's the word but its me, and i want to have a change of heart whenever i want to and not be judged for it :( :)

Other than that, this chinese new year has been actually really really nice, not that i do much visiting or anything but its especially nice being with my dad mum and jon when everyone is in particularly high spirits heh.

Oh and last night when i was at sr gardens haha i bumped into seven of the ten, and i tell you my dear a13 girlies i couldn't recognise them because the the guys either have shaved heads or longish hair!!! Really! It was serious stunburger haha when syaz called me and told me to 'look right' and there i saw all of them gathered around one table.. i miss a13 i miss a13 i miss a13 and it was really very nice seeing everyone and i managed to talk to them for a little bit but then i had to go.

Happy CNY you guys!

I miss the tote-bagging!

It feels funny not seeing you girls 5 days a week, not being seated in a single row every morning during assembly trying to talk even then :) and either spending all our free time in the canteen or in the concourse in between tutorials and lectures talking about the weirdest things with many of our conversations revolving around food! And wednesday lunches at parkway before cca and all the studying we did together before a levels. I miss being in vj uniform and having school fill my everydays, and i miss you all being constantly around even though i'm really glad we manage to meet pretty often.

Today i was supposed to meet mc for lunch but even before cny has started i'm down with a horrible sore throat (people at the office were stuffing me with goodies on my first day back!) and was feeling too sick to go out. And i'm so tempted to not work today but my supervisor quite forcefully reminded me on tuesday that the budget's gonna be out tomorrow so its very very very important to be there. So she says but i feel like i'm doing less by helping out sometimes because i don't know so much...

Yes so i gotta be at the office in half and hour, which means i need to go pick out an outfit sigh and i better get going so bye bye hope you guys are all ok at work!

Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
...
Its a love story baby just say yes.