Duffy and friends in Japan

Can't capture everything in 5 pictures but yeah love Japan love Tokyo love my mum hehe and my cousins and of course Duffy.

Konichiwa!

I'm back from Japan! And i know i say this each time after i travel, but i love Tokyo. I love love love Tokyo. I love the buzz of the city :) everything is too fast-paced, massive crowds everywhere, too many food places to choose from, train lines in nearly every different colour. Its so vibrant so alive haha and just so intense i like how i'm nearly dizzy from the excitement of it all. And not just how densely urban it is - everything new and modern seems transposed on the old. Like this book on Japan i bought at the airport describes it be; 'the past lives on in japan, as background to the warpings of the present'.. hahaha ok kinda corny, but its true! Hehehe i'm raving, but the food, the beautifully dressed people, the amazing shopping, the culture.. what a great city! Haha now i know what mc means everything she goes on and on about Japan. Me too me too me too! The only thing sad was how exorbitant prices are there. I can't believe in one 500 yen coin i'm spending $7.50 but because its in a coin its so easy to squander it all..

One hand on the steering wheel the other on my heart...

This year has been a lot about changes and new things, feeling very much like i'm perched on a balancing beam as if i'm about to topple the very next moment. Like i wanna take a step forward, but i'm apprehensive about falling, and i'm struggling to find even just an ounce of stability. And very often i find myself missing what's past. Missing last year and everything about 2008 when things were so much less confusing. Nothing seem to falls into place easily these days, there's always so much figuring out to do.

But i think i'm done with being obsessively retrospective. And in that i guess i mean sometimes yearning for everything to be like how they used to be.. and now i can't put off bidding a quiet goodbye to what's already gone. Which sort of tugs my heart still, but hey, i can't be adrift forever either. Besides, in many ways 2009 has been wonderful and really scary all at the same time.. and now i'm beginning to feel that the changes this year brought are really surprises hehe.

I really hope this good feeling lasts :)

Gotta love the zoo

My amazing ltb groupmates make amazing friends too!! :D We had a blast at the zoo which is such a great place to be, a blast driving around (i got to drive too although they were all screaming at me -_- haha), a blast just hanging out hehe - project grin was always way more than just all work and no play. I love grinners!

There were so many amazing things about vj, but confirm stamp chop definitely for sure to me hehe you a13 girls top the list. Haha i know being in uni and all everyone just seems so over their jc times.. but for me at least i still constantly remember random stuff like how great it was bumming around in the concourse and sitting in the canteen. I know i probably bore all my new friends with happy vj anecdotes haha. I know i've left vj for more than a year, but i can't help but miss it a whole lot still. But the best part of vj - besides all the memories and everything, its you 7 girls!

I like how we all cram in front of meiyi's tiny webcam just to skype hwee. And that how even though hwee you're so far away we miss you so much and worry for you a lot. I like how we all have the same (weird) sense of humour, and how we repeat our stories 1000 times because our group is so big and because some of us are just deaf haha. I like how i really be myself with you all even when i'm cranky and tired or even when i'm just super happy! I like how we cheer for leow when she plays floorball at 3am in the morning. And how we laugh at meiyi's "pink" pillow hehe. And yeah definitely jac's 'resilience of character' (quoting abc here hahahaha). How we can sprawl around with our feet up in the air hehe vera!! And despite all the new people who weave in and out of our lives, and how some of our lives have diverged in different paths, i like how together we're still the same. And how we can share bits of our new lives and still be connected by times of old! Although it was hard speaking a lot throughout the whole of our sometimes sucky and yet super eventful and fun sem 1, i just think its so great knowing i have you girls to fall back on and share things with. Oh and thank you so much jac for being side by side with me all the way through sem 1 and supporting me whenever and just being so awesome..

I love you all.. you girls are amazing :)

Post-exams

The sun is shining flowers are blooming birds are chirping the world is again a wonderful beautiful happy place :D :D :D

There are so many things to be excited about this december.. now that the worst exams ever have finally ended, life's begun hehe! I am excited about bugsy being in action again, christmas, Japan in less than a week. Can't wait to get on the plane, feel the cold through fingerless gloves and my thick coat and go 'oishii des neiii' at everything i'm about to eat! And when i'm get back, hwee will finally be back. And sulin too. The lights this year in orchard is especially pretty.. and i put the first present under our tree at home today for my dad. Christmas!!! I need this one month to really count. Time with the people who mean the most to me.. and i'm shoving anything about tort/contract2/lraw and anything law related to the back of my head..

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
half of my heart's got you
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that half of my heart won't do

...

Brain drain. Exams so far have been quite terrible to say the least, but for some reason for once i'm taking it all in my stride and keeping the end in sight. And because there's no running away this time!

Because even though everything has been changing too quick these past few months, there are still some things that stay the same :)

What's the opposite of two?

A lonely me, a lonely you.


I realize i've been posting mostly sad scrambled thoughts - but that doesn't mean that i am..

I'm feeling very tired, so tired that i almost can't care about studying for finals (JUST NEXT WEEK) because i want it to be over so quick so that i can finally get away from all this. Of course there's this sinking feeling that refuses to go away.. i feel so unprepared, i don't even know where to really begin and how to fix it. Helpless again. Help?

Wish i could go to sleep and be in a sonambulistic state until nov 28th. This is so painful i'm numb. Haha and i'm reciting mental cases in my head again..

DECEMBER WONT YOU COME ALREADY.

Everyday i'm proud of you, but today you get a card

Everything is changing, but this is one thing that stays the same. I'm so thankful for this solid group of people (peirceans on the warpath!!) i've been friends with for the longest time and without them my life would just be completely different. Friends i know i'll know forever! Like pris su, who is 12 hours away in faraway boston who i got to skype with today while she had her proactive mask on hahaha which made me laugh so hard but made me miss her even more.

Saturday was a super special day, because i got to celebrate ly's birthday. 9 years together ly haha we're still as psycho as the old days but i'm so blessed you've been by my side every step of the way, being there for me and listening. You're irreplaceable. And sat was ed's ndu grad night too, i'm just really super happy that i got to be part of it all with him because to me at least i can't think of anyone who deserves a more wonderful grad night than he does :) i'm so happy for him. There's so much more to it than that one last sentence, but words just can't really sum it up..

I think i miss the old days a lot, but i also think even they say change is the only constant in life, even through all that the best parts of the old days stay with us still. I hope they will. And now its time to maybe let go a little, not be so afraid of everything new.. because i'm already beginning to feel like the end of 2009 is going to be the best part of this tired year :)

Floating and fighting, like a kite on a string
till you cut through my tether and changed everything
from the sky you looked so small, but i loved you the same
so i darted back quickly to spell out your name
and when they say i'm just a terrible kite,
you'll tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight.

Its been a constant tug-of-war, i'm feeling more and more like the flag in the middle... but there are no winners or losers in this game, and everyday i feel like caring less, let myself be dragged wherever it might take me.. no matter what i do, or try to do, it wouldn't be right anyway. And i've no more time to mull over anything. So this is it.. i guess :(