This year has been a lot about changes and new things, feeling very much like i'm perched on a balancing beam as if i'm about to topple the very next moment. Like i wanna take a step forward, but i'm apprehensive about falling, and i'm struggling to find even just an ounce of stability. And very often i find myself missing what's past. Missing last year and everything about 2008 when things were so much less confusing. Nothing seem to falls into place easily these days, there's always so much figuring out to do.
But i think i'm done with being obsessively retrospective. And in that i guess i mean sometimes yearning for everything to be like how they used to be.. and now i can't put off bidding a quiet goodbye to what's already gone. Which sort of tugs my heart still, but hey, i can't be adrift forever either. Besides, in many ways 2009 has been wonderful and really scary all at the same time.. and now i'm beginning to feel that the changes this year brought are really surprises hehe.
I really hope this good feeling lasts :)
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