Locker 50 love is here to stay!

When i went back to vj the other day, i peeked into our locker 50 just to see if they really cleared out the stacks of notes we left behind, the sweets that were starting to melt and the little bits and pieces of paper and even coins.. And they did! It was all gone, from our 45678 lock to the ants that i spotted crawling into the mess that we procrastinated cleaning up. Everything disappeared, the locker looking sadly empty.. everything except for our blue post-it we stuck on the locker celebrating vday last year "Happy valentine's day! Spread the locker 50 love :)" in abc's narrow cute handwriting as opposed to my fat flat one. Somehow even after valentine's, we didn't throw it away and instead pasted it on the inside.. and there it remained! Until maybe even now, if the next tenants haven't thrown it away yet. See abc haha we managed to leave a legacy!!

Wear your heart on your sleeve.. or not

One minute i'm sure i'm certain, i'm floating on cloud 9, i'm over the moon, i'm ready as can be. And then its the next minute, and i'm confused again. Hanging by a moment, by a thread, teetering on the edge, trying to figure out the ambiguity of it all. What is it about feelings? They seem to tend to only mix things up... things that are really simple are somehow transformed into a web of questions with answers i refuse to accept. People say "follow your heart", but i think the heart is too often fooled by the slightest of emotions... always too positive, always too vulnerable, always hoping for the impossible. If only i had some kind of clairvoyant ability to tell the future or what girls are supposed to possess - intuition which is supposedly able to tell us what feels right or wrong.. Haha pris su always believed in it! But now it seems to me as if my intuition is hopelessly unable to detect things accurately - or maybe i am just having problems trying to trust it. I can't figure it out either!

Somehow i can't believe its february already, 2009 has begun in such a flurry of things i feel like i'm being caught in this current and sort of just drifting along. Like my much anticipated trip with dee to see pris su has come and gone, and so has chinese new year, and in between all the things that everyone has been getting down to doing too. Driving (yay i passed btt heh and my driving lessons + ftt soon!), working, trying to live each off day to the fullest.. the works heh.

So february february is off to a great start so far.. this week is packed with stuff i'm looking forward to so very much :) Still on the wait here. What is it that i'm waiting for really? Honestly i don't know but along the way i shall. Everything builds up to something doesn't it? It just has to, i hope it does! Everything in its time, right? I really hope it all just falls into place.

Happy tuesday. Happy february!!

Don't wanna mess up mess up!

If there's just one more person who asks me when are a level results coming out and what i'm gonna do after that (i have no idea yikes!!!!!) this CNY, i might just flip out and die from a panic attack already! Ok it isn't really all that bad, but its something pressing upon my shoulders which i can't seem to shrug off. I suppose the reason why i don't really want to let myself be far sighted on this is because i just don't dare to.. what if i end up feeling too disappointed? Or what if i let anyone down? Does anyone know what i mean? I've never been someone who likes things to be definite, ok - fickle's the word but its me, and i want to have a change of heart whenever i want to and not be judged for it :( :)

Other than that, this chinese new year has been actually really really nice, not that i do much visiting or anything but its especially nice being with my dad mum and jon when everyone is in particularly high spirits heh.

Oh and last night when i was at sr gardens haha i bumped into seven of the ten, and i tell you my dear a13 girlies i couldn't recognise them because the the guys either have shaved heads or longish hair!!! Really! It was serious stunburger haha when syaz called me and told me to 'look right' and there i saw all of them gathered around one table.. i miss a13 i miss a13 i miss a13 and it was really very nice seeing everyone and i managed to talk to them for a little bit but then i had to go.

Happy CNY you guys!

I miss the tote-bagging!

It feels funny not seeing you girls 5 days a week, not being seated in a single row every morning during assembly trying to talk even then :) and either spending all our free time in the canteen or in the concourse in between tutorials and lectures talking about the weirdest things with many of our conversations revolving around food! And wednesday lunches at parkway before cca and all the studying we did together before a levels. I miss being in vj uniform and having school fill my everydays, and i miss you all being constantly around even though i'm really glad we manage to meet pretty often.

Today i was supposed to meet mc for lunch but even before cny has started i'm down with a horrible sore throat (people at the office were stuffing me with goodies on my first day back!) and was feeling too sick to go out. And i'm so tempted to not work today but my supervisor quite forcefully reminded me on tuesday that the budget's gonna be out tomorrow so its very very very important to be there. So she says but i feel like i'm doing less by helping out sometimes because i don't know so much...

Yes so i gotta be at the office in half and hour, which means i need to go pick out an outfit sigh and i better get going so bye bye hope you guys are all ok at work!

Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
...
Its a love story baby just say yes.

Short-lived escape

Although i've been back just three days really, i feel so seeped into familiarity here already that it feels almost like i haven't left at all. Now looking at the pictures its a nice fuzzy reminder of every moment spent :)

There's only so long we could stay in a place like california, where everything seems to take on a sort of dreamy sun-dozed feel. I wish i could snap my fingers and go right back to santa monica and run on the cold cold sand with dee every time something i don't feel like dealing with takes shape here at home. But i can't, now my vacation is truly over. And now i'm starting to miss everything so much more, stuffing my face with cheetos, beef jerky; and i miss pris su and our late night chit chats.. most of all i guess i miss being able to not address things right away because of the huge distance in between and the 16 hour time difference with reality. Grr!

No place like Singapore!

I'm back :) its really nice to be home again, home to the warmth (and humidity boo) of sunny island singapore!!!! Two weeks away, i probably could've stayed longer because its so beautiful there, but then again i can't possibly be more disconnected that i already am from everything although it was great being far away from it all for a while. I loved it in california, i loved spending so much time with susu pris again and dee everyday! And a whole lot more. The weather - freezing with the wind in san francisco, snow in lake tahoe, warm sunshine in LA; also the food, eating and liking just about everything; the shopping with its variety and low low low prices whee; and the scenery from the snow mountains to the beautiful architecture to the happy laid back feel of everything. Yes yes yes it was amazing, and there's so much more to say but for now let me just kick start my life back here in singapore with adult ez link fare hahaha (which just sucks). Kinda jet lagged but i miss being around home so i'm gonna get out now. Laterrr!

And a13 girls can't wait for saturday!

Each happy ending is a brand new beginning

I'm leaving in a couple of hours and its been a frenzy the past few hours i'm just dying to step into the plane already :) two weeks away from home and i'm excited but nervous about being so far away as well.. everything is just in a whirl right now!

2009 will be so new, i'm not sure how thrilled i'm actually feeling. This year has been so eventful and so wonderful, there's no way to sum it up.. it just seems to be ending a little too abruptly i think, i'm not really ready for it yet. Still, may all our wishes for the new year kick in quick and soon, may the year be an amazing, cross my fingers and hope it'll be as awesome as 2008 has been whee.

(Somewhere out there our big white wish ball is floating around happily in the river with all our dreams waiting to come true!) :D :D :D

Ok california here i come wowee! See you next year, yes - before we know it we'll be writing 2009 on the corners of every piece of paper heh. I miss singapore already. Happy new year you guys! I love you all!

So this is Christmas, what have you done?

Christmas was... quote beam, 'awesome possum' :D hahaha nothing like spending this time with the family and with everyone i love. But there's always this tinge of sadness on the 26th, knowing its a whole year in between before Christmas again.



I'm completely exhausted as well, what with all the running about.. and friday morning playing touch rugby today with ly and the peirce guys right back at bishan park was so very tiring - its been ages since i've done any running and all haha but it was so much fun and they were all real nice about me playing even though i'm such a noob! Hanging out more with them often lately has me feeling at times sort of displaced but then again surprised at how much fun i can be having! They're a great bunch to be with (albeit MADNESS at times haha), a real nice reminder of the peirce days which i always miss.

Yup, but i'm leaving in just three days and i'm all set to go!! Really excited haha because now i just can't wait to take a break from all the craziness going on here, and i can't wait to spend two whole weeks with dee and pris and being in somewhere completely new!!! Yeah missing new year here is a tad sad though, but there has to be first to everything and 2009 will just be my first countdown in a faraway land which is quite exciting whee. Heh. Its horrible imagining what it'll be like when i come back to work after three weeks away.. yikes i would probably have forgotten everything i've learnt in that intense software thingy that still freaks me out everytime. But all worries aside first!

Ok gotta go now.. hope you guys had a great Christmas too :)

Lots of things i'm grateful for.. and there's no better time to say it :)

To everyone who's been part of my life this 2008: to the ones who make me smile, to the ones who cared, to the ones who encouraged me through those terrible A level days, to the ones who studied with me, to the ones who made school life so much fun. To the ones who made school mornings something to look forward to! To every moment in school spent laughing, to those who doodled on my organiser, to those who woke me up when i was dozing off, to the ones who didn't shush me in lectures and those that shushed me too haha. To those who understand the weird eyebrow lifts when something strange-o is going on, to those afternoons after school at parkway or gelare, to those who tahaned swim trainings with me. To the ones who i can always sms and call on a whim, to those who listened, to those who sent me stuff through mail.. To the ones who always made a sucky day better and to the ones who always understood. To the people who always made yummy food even more delicious just by eating with me, to the ones i shared bubble tea with and many cups of starbucks and coffeebean. To the ones who i captured many happy memories with on camera, to the people who always sing a long and never ever mind going a little nuts with me heh. To the people who always cracked me up hahaha. To the ones who made my birthday very special. To the ones who were always there for me...

Especially my family and especially jon because there's no better older brother! And there's a lot up there i probably can't remember right now... to everyone who means something to me, i love you all.

Merry Christmas :D

To happiness. Here and now.

I've been slaving away like santa's elf this past weekend wrapping cutting sticking and what not with bits of paper all over and tremendously short of sleep but the gifts are finally almost done!! Heh i even sneaked in some to complete in the office too, and with just a few days left i'm really getting psyched about Christmas heh.

Plus esther is back in singapore havent seen her for nearly two years yikes! Jon's finally arriving home tonight (whee its been kinda quiet at home of late and i miss him very much), christmas eve lunch with the girls, caroling, and even the office has a party tomorrow night and one thousand other things going on!

Everything seems almost a blur lately, with things happening that's left me feeling quite surprised, a little at loss because i don't know what to do. Or maybe its because the year's coming to an end, and there are still ends to tie up before we turn the page on 2008. I'm not sure how that works.. maybe its better to leave some stuff hanging, after all some things are still better left unsaid. Or not! I don't know, because its this special time of the year again.

4 days left to Christmas.. :)

"If you can't say it at Christmas, then when can you eh?" (Love Actually)

Baby you're my light

I've started work! Interesting is the word - i really really have a new found appreciation for newspapers haha... and actually i'm quite enjoying it even though its only been two nights so far :) though the environment is pretty stressful since i'm still the newbie i'm not really in it just yet, but i've made a few friends and everything's going great since there's so much space and time to do my own stuff as well.

And enjoying my last night out on tuesday before i officially began my first job was great. The best part about it was when beam, ly and i were on 166 singing at the top of our lungs (actually more so beam than us two girls) our peirce song when we passed our old compound hahaha! That and seeing miss khai again which brought back so many warm fuzzy yellow banana peirce memories. Nothing beats the company of old friends sharing whipped cream, catching up and playing silly games :D

6 days to Christmas, don't wanna think i just wanna wait!